Writing/Dreaming/Praying/Planning

So its been a little while since my last post, so I thought It quickly update you all on whats been happening....

Over the month of June I gave myself the task of writing one poem a weak, which will all go towards a potential project at the end of summer. Week one, was just amazing! I found a cute little coffee shop in town, had my notes, bible, I researched, prayed and just wrote everything on my heart. Folks who were keeping me accountable gave me feedback which then follow with more edits, etc. What I did not factor in - REST, LESS CAFFEINE, REST AND ERRR MORE REST. Week two came round and I was so overwhelmed with the pressure of the second piece being good, if not better than the last, I was trying to force something that just didn't want to happen. The competitor in me was drowning in all these unrealistic expectations and pride made me focus on my limitations instead of a limitless God.

I'm quick to open my mouth. I find it hard to be still and listen, however through the help of close friends and personal convictions, it wasn't long before I realised, God wanted my attention much more than I wanted to execute a writing task. During week 3, I decided to take a break from writing to listen, pray and be in community. I realised that my frustrations weren't just about being faithful in completing a task but also proving to other people and myself that I could do it. The following weeks were so beautiful, I just enjoyed listening to Gods heart and being obedient through His word. Dont get me wrong, I still have hella deadlines but I'd rather have a few healthy poems than a bundle of material with no purpose or direction.

So, with one poem done, I'm still wrestling with the need to force creativity. Below are a few tips that help me overcome this.

1. Do things that inspire/ get your creative juices going. I love being on public transport, watching films, galleries, theatre shows, etc.

2. NEVER WORK FROM HOME - I am so slow in the morning and just won't get anything done. Plus, I live with family so the house is always busy. Find a quiet spot, set a schedule that works for you. Just like a job. Dont forget to factor in breaks and food otherwise you will be of no use to anyone

3. Have a few real ones to keep tabs on you - They can be artists in your field, church family, peeps you know will not sleep on you...literally. Give them your schedule, goals, and deadlines, that way you are completely clear on what your plans are.

4. Involve God in the process, not just when your struggling - Remember, He ain't stupid. Trust that if He's given you the vision, He will most certainly enable and equip you to do it.  

5. Don't be so hard on yourself. - Its important to push for excellence but make sure your heart is focused on the cross. It's not about you. (This is a real struggle of mine!)

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. (James 1:5)

July is here (what da heck!!) and so far its been chill. However to do list is growing so I got to get myself into gear. In less than a week I'm flying out to Chicago for the Legacy Discipleship conference. I went for the first time last year with some friends and couldn't get enough. I took part in the poety slam and won!  Im still convinced its cuz of my accent lol. This year I've been asked if I wanted to take part in the 'Storytellers' event this year...I was like "errrr...yer!". Very excited to share some of this new material. After that I fly out to Portland, Oregon for the CANVAS conference. I watched it online last year and was blown away. I cannot wait to sit at the feet of some of the most innovative Christians I know. All in all, this trip is a chance for me to listen, & learn.

Prayers would be much appreciated. I would also encourage any fellowship to support and pray for the creatives in your church. We need it!

Sorry I'm late...

So about two months ago today I decided to step away from the familiar and venture into the unknown...(well not the unknown as such), I just decided to take a break from my current job to work on other projects and start a few of my own.

I've been acting professionally for the past eight years. That may not seem long to some of you guys, but if you are like me, I get restless. Very quickly. My faith has brought me on this crazy journey of identity, self-worth, creativity and so much of that good stuff. Class will forever be in session. I was raised around creativity so I pretty much became what I was fed. ART. There's something so beautiful about the conception of an idea, its growth and birth that I just love being a part of. 

Now I would love to tell you that the minute I decided to take this step of courage, opportunities were falling in my hands left, right and centre. Truth is, this decision took two years for me to make. I went through mental battles of fear, doubt, and comfortability. I went through waves of "BOOM! let's go!" to "lemme pray on it" to "you wanna trade a steady income for.... what exactly?!". I sought advice from close friends, mature brothers and sisters in the faith, even prayed with one of my homies for two weeks straight! (Love you G). I still couldn't do it. It felt like my heart was being pushed into a corner and the only thing I could do was either be consumed by fear or reach for that random crowbar just chilling under the sofa (like it always is in the movies) and smack the doo doo out of my fears!!!! 

So I did!!! I told my nearest and dearest, spoke to my agent with no clarity but told him where I was at and what I wanted to do. Nothing but grace and favour came over all conversations. Shortly after I received a call from a dear friend I was doing a creative collaboration with, saying they can pay me for the whole process! I was like "shut yo mouth, that was quick!"

God honours a faithful heart. Faith doesn't always need clarity to survive. But it does need action. And it does need to be constantly exercised. Best believe a week later, I got a job offer that would've blessed my pockets but limit my freedom creatively. I already forgot myself went straight to comfortability for comfort till faith came and pimp slapped me back into action. I turned the gig down and kept it moving.

I remember reading this quote in a book called 'Just Do Something' by Kevin Deyoung;

 “We can stop pleading with God to show us the future, and start living and obeying like we are confident that He holds the future.”

I could not look back at my life with a whole bunch of "what if's" over my head. I'm young, single and able! As a believer, I must remind myself daily "what is my motive?" To remind myself that failure is a part of the process, that transparency allows people to see through my flaws and see a perfect God who holds me together. 

So, all that being said, this blog is a little insight into my journey. I can't promise you anything but me. Some posts might be a story, a poem, a sketch, a random recipe or a quote. I hope that my life, lessons, and adventures can inspire and encourage you to move.

In a bit family...

Sarah x

 

Book: Just Do Something by Kevin Deyoung

Sermon: Tim Keller - Your Plans: Gods Plans

Song: Will Reagan & The United pursuit - If I Give it All