So about two months ago today I decided to step away from the familiar and venture into the unknown...(well not the unknown as such), I just decided to take a break from my current job to work on other projects and start a few of my own.
I've been acting professionally for the past eight years. That may not seem long to some of you guys, but if you are like me, I get restless. Very quickly. My faith has brought me on this crazy journey of identity, self-worth, creativity and so much of that good stuff. Class will forever be in session. I was raised around creativity so I pretty much became what I was fed. ART. There's something so beautiful about the conception of an idea, its growth and birth that I just love being a part of.
Now I would love to tell you that the minute I decided to take this step of courage, opportunities were falling in my hands left, right and centre. Truth is, this decision took two years for me to make. I went through mental battles of fear, doubt, and comfortability. I went through waves of "BOOM! let's go!" to "lemme pray on it" to "you wanna trade a steady income for.... what exactly?!". I sought advice from close friends, mature brothers and sisters in the faith, even prayed with one of my homies for two weeks straight! (Love you G). I still couldn't do it. It felt like my heart was being pushed into a corner and the only thing I could do was either be consumed by fear or reach for that random crowbar just chilling under the sofa (like it always is in the movies) and smack the doo doo out of my fears!!!!
So I did!!! I told my nearest and dearest, spoke to my agent with no clarity but told him where I was at and what I wanted to do. Nothing but grace and favour came over all conversations. Shortly after I received a call from a dear friend I was doing a creative collaboration with, saying they can pay me for the whole process! I was like "shut yo mouth, that was quick!"
God honours a faithful heart. Faith doesn't always need clarity to survive. But it does need action. And it does need to be constantly exercised. Best believe a week later, I got a job offer that would've blessed my pockets but limit my freedom creatively. I already forgot myself went straight to comfortability for comfort till faith came and pimp slapped me back into action. I turned the gig down and kept it moving.
I remember reading this quote in a book called 'Just Do Something' by Kevin Deyoung;
“We can stop pleading with God to show us the future, and start living and obeying like we are confident that He holds the future.”
I could not look back at my life with a whole bunch of "what if's" over my head. I'm young, single and able! As a believer, I must remind myself daily "what is my motive?" To remind myself that failure is a part of the process, that transparency allows people to see through my flaws and see a perfect God who holds me together.
So, all that being said, this blog is a little insight into my journey. I can't promise you anything but me. Some posts might be a story, a poem, a sketch, a random recipe or a quote. I hope that my life, lessons, and adventures can inspire and encourage you to move.
In a bit family...
Book: Just Do Something by Kevin Deyoung
Sermon: Tim Keller - Your Plans: Gods Plans
Song: Will Reagan & The United pursuit - If I Give it All